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.:Broken Up Inside:.

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[29 Feb 2012|11:52pm]
[ mood | Heart Broken ]

‎& then in that moment that you spoke those words I died a little more. My heart broke in two. & all the feelings I hid deep inside came pouring out. Every tear had your name on it. Every sob called out to your soul. Please fix this. But there was no answer. So all that was left was a puddle of tears mixed with blood.

Was there ever really anything there? Or was it just a game of pretend? Were we just playing house? Did I lose the game & that's why you left? So many questions swirl through my mind, & I know that I'll never have answers. So I'll lay on your side of the bed & take in your scent and pretend you're there beside me, you never left. Bitter sweet dreams consume me.
Good night dear love of mine.

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[12 Nov 2006|02:15am]
new layout.. wat do you think??
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[08 Nov 2006|06:18pm]
[ mood | content ]

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here are some pics of my pumpkin.. i still cant believe that shes here.. it took soo long to get where i am that i can hardly believe it.. *sigh*
i never thought that life could be soo good =)



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my sister-in-law
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our 1st family pic
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my baby n my brodder
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our 1st pic together =D
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dont you just love 4am feedings.. lol
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my dad and his fat girl.. lol
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tori and rene/her homo
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her 1st holloween
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her baptism
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my sister with her
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the wife n kid =)
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his sister with her
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me and my mooky
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my dad in his class a's
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1of my fave pics
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she heard her father on the phone.. and this is the reaction we got.. lol
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she was asleep in my arms so i took this pic and added a lil glow.. lol
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she looks like a lil angel
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after her 1st bath in her tub.. lol
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i love that one

chillin in her chair
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okiie thats all for now.. im tired and have to pee.. lol... ill be posting a lot more now that my internet is back on.. lol

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my big girl =D [03 Nov 2006|01:21am]
sorry that i havent updated in months.. but i havent been able to get online.. ive been busy..

if you didnt know Tori is here.. shes 2months old.. if you wanna see pics of her look on my myspace

www.myspace.com/fresca8718


or hers

www.myspace.com/munchiiee

you can see my beautiful fat girl.. lol..
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true devotion [06 Aug 2006|03:38am]
[ mood | loved ]

true devotion is having a man that'll stay for 5days in the hospital with you, get no sleep, barely eat, and sleep on a very uncomfortable chair, just to show you he loves and supports you..
true devotion is having a man that'll help you pee in a bed pan b/c you're not allowed out of bed...
someone that'll hold your hand for every needle they give you..
wipping away your tears when your too scared to sit still...
someone who gets excited everytime they see their baby, even though its not the first time...
someone who'll help you wipe down with a rag yourself up b/c you feel icky.. and thats the closest your gettin to a shower for a couple of days...
someone who'll be able to laugh with you while your on soo many meds that you look like a cracked out crazy person..





i love my husband.. hes very good to me... and i appreciate everything that he does for me..




and i wanna say thank you to nikki as well... shes been soo supportive this whole time.. and shes the very best friend that i could ask for.. as much as we've been through and our friendship has always stayed strong.. through guys, and kids, and breakups, and sex (hehehehehehehe), and drinkin... and all that good shit.. we've never lost sight of what was important.. our sistership.. shes my backbone.. and idk what id do w/o her in my life... i mean shes my babymomma for christs sake.. lol.. i mean what other friend do you know will make their babydaddy watch the baby just to go see their bestfriend in the hospital.. even now that im not really allowed she comes to see me.. she brings me prelly things to cheer me up.. shes my other sister.. in soo many ways shes my soulmate.. i lovers you..
your my sister, my bestfriend, my exgirl...lol.., my other mother sometimes, my other half.. and i dont know where id be w/o you... you know things about me that nobody knows.. and likewise with you... lol... ohh the nights we've had.. the sleepovers, the drunken nights, the wild parties, and now we can share all new adventures of motherhood together... so on this day i say thank you nikk... thank you for always being the one that i could run to when shit was rough, the shoulder i could cry on, im soo very glad that your in my life... b/c i couldnt see myself w/o you now.. i lovers you my fatgirl :-*


okay enough of that mushy shit... i gotta get home its late and im tiya and full.. lol
later days
.sAm

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[03 Jul 2006|06:40pm]
[ mood | content ]

hahaha.. its funny.. i went to the doctor today for a check up.. and they give me info on how big she is now.. so they said that shes 16inchs and 4 1/2lbs already.. lol.. this is funny bc tomorrow ill be 29wks.. lmfao.. i cant wait.. 10more weeks... and then ill have my lil booger.. I CANT WAIT!! hehe... they told me that if my blood pressure hadnt gone back done by todays appointment they were gonna send me to the hospital for further testing to see what the fuck was goin on.. they have me on limited bed rest from now to the rest of my pregnancy... so im allowed to like go to the doctors, and cook if im hungry... but they want me in the room for most of the day.. so yeah.. im stuck in my room.. im not bitchin though.. i have music, a.c., video games, and lots of shit to keep me busy.. lol.. and im still allowed to like go to my dads, and harrass my mom and the in-laws... hehe.. okiie i have to go.. its hot in this room.. and imma go bother my daddy a lil more.. hehe.. ill update some more another day..

.sAm

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[09 Jun 2006|07:08pm]
[ mood | angry ]

i love you baby.. i do.. but the next time that you come out your fuckin face to me imma beat the fuckin shit out of you.. i love you but that doesnt make the shit that you say okay.. we gonna see who the fuck you gonna embarrass in home depot next time.. you pulled that shit in public, and in front of your mother... i swear to god.. you do that shit again.. and imma beat the shit out of you.. you wanna call me a fuckin hoodrat.. imma fuckin show you the hoodrat in me.. we gonna see how you gonna come out ya face wit a fat fuckin lip!! see how you spaz then..


what made it all worse was that i was holdin the baby... who the fuck do you think that you are..



asshole!!

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[13 May 2006|11:11am]
I HAVE A NEW CAT AND HIS NAME IS SPOT!!! =D I LOVE HIM!! HES SOO BEAUTIFUL.. WILL POST PICS OF HIM LALLER

WHEN I GET BACK FROM BABYS R US..
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amazingly good =D [09 May 2006|07:44pm]
[ mood | happy ]

today was such a good day.. we had sooo much fun today.. hehe..

i love my life,
i love my friends,
i love my baby,
and most of all i love you =*
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[30 Apr 2006|11:14pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Dear Ant,

No you may not read my livejournal, and I just wanted to say that I hate you, Big much doodie :-*

and my juice tastes much better than yours does, bc im cool and your not..


okiie thats all

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hehehehe [30 Apr 2006|02:20pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

this is the joke of the day.. hahaha.. your gonna die laughin.. hahahaha




Subject: 2 Women

Two Women meet while waiting at the Pearly Gates in Heaven.....


1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.


2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?


1st woman: I froze to death.


2nd woman: How horrible!


1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?


2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?


2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.


1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still
be alive.

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hehe [30 Apr 2006|02:18pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

this is the joke of the day.. hahaha.. your gonna die laughin.. hahahaha




Subject: 2 Women

Two Women meet while waiting at the Pearly Gates in Heaven.....


1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.


2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?


1st woman: I froze to death.


2nd woman: How horrible!


1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?


2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?


2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.


1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still
be alive.

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you have to love PBS =D [15 Apr 2006|05:42pm]
[ mood | silly ]

it has just been brought to my attention how stupid pbs really is.. lol


i was lookin for the lyrics to elmos world to send to someone to be funny.. lol..


and i saw that hes supposed to be a 3 1/2 year old "muppet", who 1st appeared on sesame street in 1984..



what the fuck are the ppl at pbs smokin to think that they can sit there and say that hes only 3 1/2.. what the fish!! lol.. thats funny.. they said that in the last 3 years hes become extremely popular to teens, and young children, and b/c of such was given his own 15 minute segmant at the end of seasame street(sp?).... lol..






i really wanna know what theyre all on.. haha

you gotta love childrens shows...

this is as funny as the purple telly tubby being gay.. why can he have a pocketbook and be happy!! DAMN SOCIETY and its stupid stereotypes.. lol...


okiie thats all for the stupid post of the day.. hehe

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[15 Apr 2006|05:03pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

this is seriously soooo sad.. please read




This is about California legislation being passed to exterminate pit bulls. If it passes in California, it could be on it's way to other states. Someone has to try to make a difference...what if it were your pet? It would be great if Myspace could be used for something good other than getting dates. Please pass the word along and post this so as many people can see this as possible.
























































































Image hosting by Photobucket
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Please repost this to your bulletin. </font></center>

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[15 Apr 2006|03:54pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

was bored.. and redid my myspace layout.. so tell me what you think...



http://www.myspace.com/fresca8718
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today was a very good day [10 Apr 2006|07:12pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i just watched V for Vendetta and Ultra Violet... and the 1st one was really fuckin good.. and uv fuckin sucked.. it was nothing like they made it out to be.. simply nothing.. lol...



ive had a very good day.. and i hope that things continue this way.. *sigh*




i love how simple things in my life are now...



thank god for some piece and quiet..




okay i must go play my game now..



later days =)

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something to think about... [09 Apr 2006|11:27pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i look over at you.. and i can see forever in your arms... and im glad that i have you in my life.. i love you my beloved.. i just wish you could see how much i really do love you..


my friend abby just asked me a question and i asked ant and hes an ass.. he didnt understand it and swears that there is only 1 answer.. so i shall ask all of you and edit the post later and say what he said..



If you had to choose from 3 different paths, The New, The Old, and The Same, which path would you choose?

so i ask you.. which path would you choose...


goodnight all

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[03 Mar 2006|06:00pm]
[ mood | loved ]

i quote you my beauty.. i love you


Ta gram gam ort mia murin beatha dan




what more could i say..
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[03 Mar 2006|04:16pm]
[ mood | horny ]

I LOVE IT WHEN GOOD GUYS GO BAD!!!!


GOD I LOVE IT!! =D

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[01 Mar 2006|05:01pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

a very good friend of mine just sent this to me.. and it just made sense to post it.. i agree with what it says.. so maybe you should think about what you say, or rather what your leaving out..


Words That Destroy Your Children

Parents have a responsibility in leaving a loving
legacy to their children.

All of us long to be accepted by others. While we may
say out loud, "I don't care what people think about
me," on the inside we all yearn for intimacy and
affection. This yearning is especially true in our
relationship with our parents. Gaining or missing out
on parental approval has a tremendous effect on us,
even if it has been years since we have had any
regular contact with them. In fact, what happens in
our relationship with our parents can greatly affect
all our present and future relationships. While this
may sound like an exaggeration, our office has been
filled with people struggling with this very issue,
people just like Brian.

"Please say that you love me, please!" Brian's words
trailed off into tears as he leaned over the now still
form of his father. Brian had flown nearly halfway
across the country to be at his father's side in one
last attempt to try to reconcile years of
misunderstanding and resentment. All his life, Brian
had been searching for his father's acceptance and
approval, but they always seemed just out of reach.

But he left out the most important father-son
ingredient, "I love you son and I give you my full
blessing on whatever you do in life!"

Words that destroy a child's self-worth are the ones
not spoken. How often do you tell your children that
you love them? Find them, call them, and tell them the
words. Add a meaningful hug and a caring heart in the
process.

Love is the most important gift you could ever give
your children.
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